LeBron could beat me with Swine Flu

May 02, 2009

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Chris Strickland

LeBron could beat me with Swine Flu

Say Swine Flu keeps spreading. Say it gets worse, like "Outbreak" worse, and the majority of people in the US get it, including LeBron James. I still don't think I could beat him one-on-one. Even if it was first to score. Or if we played "PIG." Remember when Jordan had the flu in the '88 playoffs, and he dropped 47 against the Knicks, AT the Garden??? We spectators/bloggers/sports fans seriously over-estimate the flu. If LeBron had swine flu, not only would he stuff me like a Quizno's Torpedo, he would still be able to beat the following athletes/teams:

-the entire Washington Wizards' starting lineup

-Charles Barkley

-Ricky Hatton

-Obama (with all due respect, Mr. President)

I would pay good money to see LeBron with the swine flu vs. Kobe with the swine flu. However, I believe LeBron would win that matchup, due to Kobe's closer proximity to Mexico. He'd have a stronger case, and it'd slow him down. Maybe fewer three attempts.

In other thoughts: the Celtics will win Game 7 in OT (obviously), and this time Paul Pierce, not Ray Allen, will be the scoring machine. The Bulls are going to double-team Allen, leaving Pierce open time after time for crucial 18-footers down the stretch. I'll even go as far as to say Paul Pierce is the greater playoff threat for the Celtics, only because he matched up against LeBron last year, and is known to be more clutch. Ray-Ray can rain three's all day. At the end of the day, Pierce is the TOUGHEST Celtic. He's the true heart and soul of that team.

I don't care that you can follow the Kentucky Derby on Twitter. Horse-racing will never interest me UNLESS I AM AT THE RACE. I went to the Preakness in Baltimore in 2004, and don't remember a thing. It's not like we eased into the day with Mamosas at brunch. I'm talking 9:30 am, Nattie Light, classic east-coast style. Getting sauced and acting like a fool is the only way to tolerate horses running around in circles. Until they start advertising with free pitchers at local breweries, or some kind of alcohol-laden incentive, I'm not giving it a chance.

 

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