Little Giants

Who knew?  Did anyone have any idea that the 3 year old goofy kid who couldn't talk yet would eventually be the Super Bowl MVP?  I sure didn't.  How do I know that he couldn't talk?  I got it from an awkward interview during hour 11 of the Super Bowl gameday coverage.  Terry 'fake laughing at Frank Caliendo's Segments' Bradshaw interviewed Archie Manning.

Terry basically said: 'Now, I know Eli was a goofy mute...was that hard?'

Archie 'somehow my ungood career comes off looking great these days' Manning basically deflected the question by saying that he has a nephew who is developmentally challenged and that he told the parents 'Not to worry, Eli didn't say nothing until he was 3'.  When I was 3, I declared myself ruling overlord of everything and that I would make my way across the land as a story teller because everyone loved listening to me talk.  I later rescinded this and renounced my claim as overlord.  I traded it all in for a Voltron cake.  You would have to if you had seen the cake.  It had one of the lions attaching itself.  It was an action cake.  You don't see action cakes much anymore.

Anyway, this bumbling, pouting, over-hyped donut has a Super Bowl.  I used to coach for a living.  If one of my kids did the 'Eli Manning Face' on the field, I'd yank him.  I'd then lecture him about how everyone sees what you are doing and it brings them down.  Don't believe me?  Who did Eli hug after they Giants beat the Packers?  He couldn't find anyone.  No teammates were waiting to embrace him.  He finally found Jeff Feagles...the punter.  It was beyond awkward.  The Giants basically, as a team said: 'He's not going anywhere.  Let's just deal with it.  We'll play for each other and hopefully, this kid won't screw us.'

Good for them.  Seriously.  I hate the Giants like I hate social injustice...and the phrase: 'relax bruh'.  That said, they did something great.  They got into that elusive: 'Nobody thought we could, but we KNOW we can' zone.  If a team gets into that zone, it wins a Super Bowl.  Some examples of some semi-bush league teams that have won it recently because they have reached this elusive zone: The Ravens, The Steelers, The Giants, The 1st Pats title over the Rams, and the Eagles...oh wait they still don't have one.  Ha!

 I live in New York so I guess I have to be a little happy.  I just don't know that I'm ready to live in a world where Eli is a Super Bowl QB.  The most important thing to me about being a sports fan is being right.  I predicted that the egregious Erni Accorsi deal that sent Phil Rivers and 19 draft picks to the Chargers for Eli Manning was the worst deal in sports over the last 20 years.  Well, it doesn't look so bad now does it?  That's why I'm irritated.  I hate being wrong.

Congrats Giants fans.  Enjoy the Super Bowl hangover.  May you go 5-11 next year and still say: 'Relax bruh, we won the Super Bowl last year.'